👶 Child Not Obeying Parents: What to Do – Practical Guide by Parul Singhal

1. Let’s Be Honest: Parenting Today Is Not Easy

Aaj ke bachche sunte kam hain, argue zyada karte hain.
And as parents, especially working professionals, hum frustrated feel karte hain.

You come home tired.
You ask them to do something.
They ignore, delay, or simply say “No.”

And suddenly, you’re angry.
They’re defensive.
And the mood of the entire home shifts.

Sound familiar?

Parul Singhal, India’s Leading Parenting Coach, calls this the “Disconnect Cycle.”
And unless we break it, it repeats… daily.

2. So Why Don’t Children Obey Us Anymore?

It’s not about being “nakhrewale” or “spoilt”.
There are deeper reasons:

🔹 Lack of Connection – Jab child ko lagta hai ki uski sunwai nahi ho rahi, wo resist karta hai.
🔹 Too Many Instructions, Not Enough Conversations – Constant “Do this, Don’t do that” se bachcha emotionally block ho jata hai.
🔹 No Space to Express – Jab unhe apna point rakhne ka scope nahi milta, wo react karte hain.
🔹 Power Struggle – Jab sirf control hota hai, trust nahi, obedience fake hoti hai.

Parul kehti hain:

“Children obey when they feel seen, safe, and respected.”

3. The 5-Step Conscious Response (Instead of Losing Your Cool)

🔁 Step 1: Pause Before You React

Gussa aata hai — naturally.
But thoda sa delay between stimulus and response… changes everything.

Aap bas 10 seconds ruk ke softly poochhiye:
“Why don’t you want to do this right now?”

They may surprise you with the answer.

💬 Step 2: Listen Without Interrupting

Zyada parents bachche ki baat sunte hi interrupt karte hain.
Try this instead:

– Sit eye-to-eye
– Stay silent for 60 seconds
– Then say, “I understand that you felt _______.”

This builds instant trust.

🔄 Step 3: Explain, Don’t Order

Instead of “Do it now”, try:
“This is important because ________.”
“This helps you in ________.”

Jab meaning clear hota hai, compliance naturally badhta hai.

⚖️ Step 4: Give Choices, Not Threats

Don’t say: “Agar homework nahi kiya toh TV band.”

Instead try:
“You can finish it now and relax later, or we can plan 15 mins post-dinner. Your choice.”

Children feel empowered. Result? Less resistance.

🤝 Step 5: Repair After Conflict

After any shouting, pause and say:
“I didn’t mean to raise my voice. Let’s talk about what happened.”

This is emotional maturity in action.
And it models calmness for your child.

4. What NOT To Do (But Most Parents End Up Doing)

🚫 Constant nagging
🚫 Yelling and over-disciplining
🚫 Comparing with siblings or friends
🚫 Humiliating the child in front of others
🚫 Emotionally withdrawing (“Do what you want, I don’t care!”)

Ye sab temporary compliance laate hain, par long-term damage karte hain.

5. Parul Singhal’s B.E.S.T. Framework

B.E.S.T. framework is part of our Gold Membership and sometimes available in Silver membership as well as in our bootcamps. It is the foundation of "Great Parenting" and you are at ease in raising children in the best manner.

6. Real Example from a Delhi NCR Mom

One mother from Gurugram shared:
“My 14-year-old son never listened. I felt helpless. But just by applying Parul’s ‘Repair Ritual’ and using more listening, we reconnected. Now, he does things before I ask.”

That’s the power of conscious shifts.
No shouting. No punishments. Just understanding and tools.

7. Quick Recap – When Your Child Doesn’t Listen:

✅ Start with connection
✅ Don’t jump to consequences
✅ Involve the child in decision-making
✅ End every day with warmth, not warnings
✅ Model what you expect — calmness, clarity, consistency

8. Want Personalized Help?

DNE has helped 40,000+ Indian parents — especially working professionals — shift from stress to success in parenting.

You can start today:

🎁 Download her free guide – “6 Secrets to Make Your Child an Achiever”
📱 Follow @NurtureWithParul on Instagram
📞 WhatsApp: +91 96252 49221

Let’s stop fighting with our kids.
Let’s start building their trust.
Because true obedience isn’t forced — it’s earned.